I’ve been doing this blog for a little while now. I really appreciate all of you who keep coming back to see what I post! I really hope that what I am writing and creating is of value and hopefully puts a smile on your faces.
Which brings me to today’s topic: Why am I doing this?
I made a decision when I started this that I was going to try to not put too much personal information here. However, I have been thinking that you, my readers, deserve to know some of my motivation.
* Depression & Anxiety
In the past few years I have struggled a lot with severe depression and anxiety issues. We have had difficult trials that I have not handled as well as I would have hoped I could… I always used to think of myself as “strong”. These trials include severe financial issues, infertility/miscarriage, and debilitating chronic illness in the Hubby… just to name a few. It seems as though the last few years I’ve gotten to where I now cringe waiting for the next thing to happen. I am trying to find myself and be true to myself. I am making my own happiness inside myself.
* Video Games
Video games are controversial, I know that. Especially among a lot of women that I know, video games are considered to be a waste of time and even evil. I won’t go into all the controversy. However, I will say that I have played video games since I was a toddler and for me they are an escape and a way to engage my brain in different ways. They are a way to have connections with people like my brother as we grew up playing Zelda, Mario, and eventually having LAN parties at our house. They are something to relax me, and even teach me things (it’s sad how much history I learned as a kid from Civilization!). I know for some people out there video games get out of hand, but for me it is a relaxing way to find some happiness in a pretend world for a couple of hours and to be whoever or whatever I want to be.
Crafting is also an escape for me. Being able to create something with my hands, whether by sewing, crocheting, or various craft projects, is a way for me to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride (hopefully not the bad kind of pride) when everything else is falling apart in life. Even if I end up just throwing away whatever I made, it’s nice to be able to feel like I did something.
* Conclusion 🙂
So… put all this together and what do you have? Well, basically me. A World of Warcraft playing, crocheting, sewing, depressed girl who is trying to improve her life. In the past few months I have been focusing my efforts on improving me. I am allowing myself to be me and do the things I enjoy (crafting, gaming, etc). I am also studying my scriptures daily and praying as well as exercising daily. I am not exactly losing weight since I am still eating things like chocolate, but I am feeling stronger. And chocolate is anti-dementor food after all.
Hopefully this hasn’t been boring or way too much information.
Again, I appreciate all of you reading this and I sincerely hope that my typing random things on this blog can put a smile on your face!